At the age of 86, my dad was in so much pain he could barely walk. Soon after I moved in to care for him, he collapsed trying to get out of bed. By afternoon he was in hospice. The moment he realized the fight was over, my warrior father fixed me with a teary eye and said through trembling lips, “You’re in charge now.” He soon lost consciousness and slipped into the next realm.
Dad’s last words have haunted me ever since. How, exactly, was I to take charge? By denying my needs and toughing it out, as he had done? Being more comfortable in the inner world than the outer world, I’ve never been good at taking care of business. I’d rather lose myself in creating a collage than hammer out a five-year plan. This aversion to life’s practicalities has cost me financially. Dad, with his Leo Sun conjunct Neptune, was also a creative sort. But he pushed aside his artistic aspirations for a career in real estate, where he felt he stood a better chance of making money. Though he understood the field and did well for a while, it turned out Dad was not much of a businessman. He was forever telling potential buyers what was wrong with the homes. He was, at essence, a Neptunian type – an artist and a dreamer. Likely that’s why he fought so hard to stamp out my own Sun square Neptune proclivities. I don’t know what we would have done without my practical Virgo mom and her steady secretarial job.
With Neptune, the Pisces ruler, so prominent in our charts, Dad and I both wrangled with questions like: Is it necessary to sacrifice your dream to make a good living? Is it possible to feed your hunger for an inward life and also find a sense of purpose in the world? These kinds of questions still keep me up at night – especially at this time of year, when the practical Virgo Sun opposes the spiritual Pisces Moon.
The physical and the spiritual were not always at odds. There was a time in the dim recesses of the past when we lived closer to the gods of nature, and the two worlds were one. But since then, the seemingly contradictory nature of these two realms has confounded us. Few people are comfortable relating consciously to their practical and spiritual nature at the same time. But this weekend, we may receive a glimpse of insight that helps bridge the gap.
At Sunday’s Pisces Full Moon (August 26, 4:56 a.m. PDT) the Sun, newly in Virgo, makes a beautiful grand earth trine with Saturn and Uranus, restoring a bit of order and meaning to our recently discombobulated lives. Yet this Full Moon is also a prompt to peer beneath the surface to the hidden depths below. It asks you to look at the ways in which you feel victimized, to see if you’re tolerating things that are no longer acceptable – within yourself or the world. There is an unsettling aspect to this lunation, not only because the Moon is in slippery Pisces. The same day, Venus in fair-minded Libra squares Pluto in hard-line Capricorn. Nothing less than total transparency will do. We need to root out whatever has been holding us back, and to balance our vision with down-to-earth plans. It’s time to reawaken our spiritual powers and to implement a new path that preserves our sweet Earth.